Why We Are The Way We Are: The Hidden Science of Your Daily Habits

Have you ever promised yourself you would start exercising, only to find yourself on the couch watching Netflix two days later? Or maybe you react with anger to a simple question and immediately wonder, “Why did I do that?”

You aren’t broken. You are simply running on a program.

Understanding why we are the way we are isn’t just about digging into your DNA; it is about understanding the “Autopilot” mode of your brain. Most of our personality is actually just a bundle of habits and environmental conditioning.

If you want to unlock your potential and stop self-sabotage, you first need to understand the code running in your mind.

The Two Minds: Who Is Really in Control?

To understand your behavior, you need to know that your brain operates on two levels. This is the biggest reason we struggle to change.

1. The Conscious Mind ( The Captain): This is “You.” It handles logic, willpower, and new ideas. It wants to eat salad and wake up early.

2. The Subconscious Mind (The Crew): This is your autopilot. It handles emotions, memories, and habits. It wants comfort, safety, and familiar routines.

Science suggests that 95% of our day is driven by the subconscious. We are the way we are because we are running on old scripts.

Comparison: Conscious vs. Subconscious

The “Sponge Phase”: How Your Software Was Installing

Why do you have certain fears or preferences? Psychologists call the first 7 years of your life the “Imprint Period.”

During childhood, your brain is in a hypnotic state (Theta waves). You are like a sponge, absorbing everything around you without a filter.

• If your parents worried about money, you likely have money anxiety today.
• If you were praised for being quiet, you might struggle to speak up at work now.

Key Takeaway: You are not your programming. You simply acquired it. And the good news? You can rewrite it.

Step-by-Step Guide: How to Rewire Your Brain

You can change “the way you are” by utilizing Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to form new connections. Follow this 4-step loop to break old patterns.

Step 1: Identify the Trigger

Notice what happens right before you act on a bad habit. Is it stress? Boredom? A specific time of day?

• Example: You yell at your partner when you are hungry and tired after work.

Step 2: Interrupt the Pattern

When you feel the urge to react, apply the 5-Second Rule. Count backwards: 5-4-3-2-1. This forces your brain to switch from the emotional subconscious to the logical conscious mind.

Step 3: Replace the Routine

You cannot just “stop” a behavior; you must replace it.

• Instead of: Yelling when stressed.
• Do this: Take three deep breaths or drink a glass of water immediately.

Step 4: Reward Yourself

Your brain repeats what gets rewarded. Give yourself a small dopamine hit. Tell yourself, “Good job handling that calmly,” or check a box on a habit tracker.

Practical Tips for Daily Growth

• Change Your Environment: If you want to eat healthier, hide the junk food. We are visual creatures; if we don’t see the cue, we don’t crave the reward.
• Audit Your Circle: We become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want.
• Start Micro-Habits: Don’t try to change your whole life in a day. Read 1 page, do 1 pushup, meditate for 1 minute. Consistency beats intensity.

Final Thoughts

We are the way we are because of repeated thoughts and actions that became automatic. But you are the architect of your future. By understanding your subconscious and slowly changing your daily habits, you can stop asking “Why am I like this?” and start saying “Look who I am becoming.”

Ready to Upgrade Your Mindset?

Start today by picking one small habit to change. Let us know in the comments: what is one thing you want to improve about yourself this week?